Andy Rooney.

Andy Rooney has slowly become my favorite person in the world. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I've had an obsession with him for pretty much as long as I can remember, mainly because I can't believe he's a real person. Some of his "revelatory observations" are so appallingly obvious that it's hard to believe sometimes. The best example I can find is where he says, "I think I’ve noticed one cosmic change in what people are doing. It is my observation that people are carrying more stuff than they used to." He actually said that. On television. Where he's paid to say things like that. The piece could only be called, "Andy Rooney on Carrying Things", and one would think that while 60 Minutes uses Andy for a 'lighter' ending to the show (I guess), they might want him to say something that doesn't sound (and look) like it's coming from your paw-paw. I'm not asking for anything of serious journalistic heft, just something a little more interesting, perhaps? I already know that people read books.

Similarly, I've developed a fanatical devotion to @Andy__Rooney on Twitter. He (I'm always hoping it really is Andy) hardly ever posts anymore, but the previous posts are hilarious. Examples: "Lately, I've been sleeping all day and staying up all night. Sometimes I read; mostly I sit an an old upright chair and stare at the wall." Followed by, "They're amazing, walls. They hold up the roof, but they're also handy for hanging pictures. I like that." You can't beat that.



My hands-down, all-time favorite Tracey Ullman skit is one involving her as Andy. I can't explain it, you'll just have to watch it to understand it's hilarity.